


Lean On Me

by good_sindi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cemetery, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lost Love, Lost of grandfather, On Hiatus, Other, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22815892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/good_sindi/pseuds/good_sindi
Summary: Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrowBut if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.In the cemetery two people meet, separated from the people they loved, connected by pain.Soon they realize that they are far more connected than by grief and that the future holds many surprises for them.Hiatus
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 21
Kudos: 10





	1. Mourning

**Author's Note:**

> A new story, which will probably have a maximum of ten chapters. 
> 
> This idea came in the middle of the night and never let go of me. So here is the first chapter.

Like every day since that fateful day, Rey entered the place with the many gravestones. Each one had a different name on it, people had long since disappeared and often fallen into complete oblivion.   
  
She was convinced that every deceased person deserved attention even after they had passed away.   
  
Since they had not been particularly well-off, they could not afford a grave in the front area. Therefore their feet led them far back each time, but this did not bother the young woman. She loved the seclusion, the silence and the chirping of the birds that built their nests in the nearby trees. For her they symbolized the cycle of life.  
  
_"Little Rey, don't worry about the afterlife."_  
_"But Grandpa..."_  
_"What matters is now and what you make of it."_  
  
With those words in her head, she finally stopped at a tombstone.  
  
**"Ben Kenobi.**  
**Beloved friend and grandfather.**  
**Your love will never be forgotten."**  
  
"Hello, Grandfather. Another day in paradise." she greeted him with a smile as she took the old carnations from the vase the day before and replaced them with new flowers she had picked specially in the garden.   
  
"I hope you like them. There are only a few left, whose last sprouts you could still experience," she told him.   
  
"It is almost the end of October and the cold has already set in."   
Because of the cold wind, which was weak but still felt through the cemetery, she pulled her trench coat tighter around her slim body.   
  
"I have written more applications, but have not received any reply yet. I promise you, I will keep trying," she said, crouched down and let her fingertips slide over the engraving of the name.   
  
"Then I'll see you tomorrow, have a nice day." she said goodbye, crossed herself and rose from her squat. 

Thoughtfully, she wandered the various paths where countless other graves had found their place.   
  
"It's so hard to be without you." she suddenly heard a rough, scratchy voice. She looked up from the grass and saw a man in the next row. Standing with his back to her, she couldn't see his face.   
  
"How can I go on without you?" His whole body trembled, his sobbing was clearly audible to Rey.   
  
"It was always you who kept the business going. It's just not the same without you."   
With clenched lips, Rey stopped and listened to his words.   
  
"If only there was a way to bring you back." he asked, lifting his head towards the sky. The young woman unconsciously turned her own eyes towards the light blue sky.   
  
"But where you are from there there is no escape - as is the certainty that I will never be there with you."   
  
Frowning, Rey looked at the mourner again, visibly irritated by his choice of words.   
"Oh God," he said, fell to his knees and burst into tears.   
  
Without thinking for long, Rey set himself in motion, stepped between the gravestones that separated them from the man and cautiously got down on his knees before him. While his face was hidden from her by the palms of his hands, she looked at the name engraved on the tombstone.   
  
**"Leia Organa Solo.**  
**Beloved sister - Beloved mother - Beloved wife.**  
**Brave to the end and beyond."**

"Do you miss us as much as we miss her?" she asked in a thoughtful voice, and could tell from the corner of her eye how the man stopped sobbing instantly. Slowly his hands sank and his face became visible.   
  
"What do you think?" he asked croaking.  
  
"I come here every day and wonder if they think of us," she replied without taking her eyes off the gravestone.  
  
"She promised me to do it before she left me," he replied, in a sad voice.   
  
"You see, and that's why she'll always be with you," Rey explained, looking directly at him.   
  
The older man was visibly marked by his life, she could really see the emotional scars in his dark eyes.   
  
"Who are you?" he asked suspiciously, whereupon Rey stood up and stepped back carefully.  
"I'm nobody, just a visitor."   
  
No sooner had the man stood up as well, she began to move further away.   
"I'm sorry to have disturbed you in your grief." she added stammering, turning away from him.  
  
With a sideways glance at the gravestone in front of him, he turned to the young woman again and shouted, "Wait!"   
  
He could observe how she paused at first before she hesitantly turned to him and came back. With a thoughtful but also critical gaze he examined the young woman in front of him before he extended his hand.   
  
"I am Han Solo and you are?"   
"Rey Kenobi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of the chapter - Lean on Me (Bill Withers)


	2. Creep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let´s meet Ben Solo and what´s his connections in this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter will be written alternately from a different perspective. I will always leave a short note in the chapter description.

Ben Solo stood in front of an empty desk, his serious expression directed at the surface.   
His fingertips lay on a piece of written paper, sighing, he closed his eyes.   
  
_"If you really think you can get away with this," he said in a loud voice, so that he could still be heard in the offices that were located down the foyer._  
 _"You are very much mistaken," he added before storming out of the office. Determined, his feet searched their way, but his head was still turned towards the bald man who had been left behind in the office. Because of this, he did not notice the two women walking out of the office at the same time, which was right on his way._  
  
 _"Look out!" exclaimed one of them, but it was already too late._  
 _He felt a dull sensation on his upper body as he collided with a smaller person. Questioningly, his head turned forward and saw how a petite person fell to the ground. Her head was covered with long, brunette hair, which covered her face._  
  
 _"Did you hurt yourself?" the other woman wanted to know about the fallen woman, while he just stopped._  
 _"No, I'm all right." he heard her lovely voice for the first time._  
 _"Ben, won't you help her?" wanted to know from him the woman with whom she had apparently left the office next to them._  
 _"No, I don't see any reason for that," he replied arrogantly, looking at the woman with blonde hair._  
 _"Solo, don't be like that."_  
 _"Gwen, let it go." he heard her speak again, his eyes wandering to her and literally sliding down his jaw._  
 _"What's the matter, you lost your tongue now that I'm looking at you directly?" she asked with a slight grin on her face._  
 _"I must confess, that's how it is."_  
 _"Well, then if you'd be so kind," she said, reaching for the handbag that Gwen had given her and then walking past him._  
  
 _With a satisfied look in his direction, the tall blonde followed the young brunette towards the elevators._  
  
 _His eyes wandered down her body, which was hidden in a gray, knee-length dress. Her slender arms were hidden under a white blouse and fitted very well with the sleeveless neckline._  
 _Speechlessly, he watched as Gwen and the young woman stood in front of one of the three elevators and talked. As the sliding doors opened in front of her, she took one last look in his direction before she disappeared inside with a slight smile and pressed the ground floor button._  
  
 _"Who was that?" he wanted to know when Gwen passed him afterwards and stopped in the doorway to her office._  
 _"That was Rey Kenobi, she will be your new secretary starting next Monday."_  
 _Instantly, his incredulous look glanced at his colleague._  
 _"You must be joking, you know exactly that I don't want a new secretary!"_  
 _"You slept with Bazine, you know how it ended."_  
 _Annoyed, he rolled his eyes, turned away from the blonde and returned to his nearby office._  
  
With a smile on his face, he thought back to their first encounter. He wanted to show her who she was dealing with from the start. But in truth it was exactly the opposite - for it was she who showed him the way forward.   
  
_"Kenobi, I need the contract for the Andor case," he demanded from her as he came out of his office. With a triumphant expression on her face, she handed him a folder._  
 _"And besides, I would like to have..." he added and paused when his look on the paper cup in her right hand recognized_  
 _"...a coffee." he quietly finished his request for the hot beverage._  
 _"The meeting room is reserved for the Andor case, be on time because Cassian Andor doesn't like to wait," she explained as she handed him the paper cup and then turned her back to the screen._  
  
Unlike her predecessors, Ben could rely on Rey. Every morning when he came, she was already sitting behind her desk. At the desk, the side he passed by, there was a paper cup.   
Should she not be present when he came to the office early in the morning, the files he needed for the day were already there.   
  
Even if he missed something, the young brunette usually already knew about it and brought him the documents, contact details or just the latest gossip from her colleagues.   
In contrast to him, Rey was a true communication talent, she got along well with everyone and often went out with other secretaries after work.   
  
In the course of the months they developed into a well-rehearsed team, some others were really jealous. Others tried to get necessary information from the brunette to give their own lawyers an advantage.  
  
 _"You get nothing out of me regarding the Palpatine case." he heard Rey's angry voice one day, looking up from his laptop. From his seat he had a wonderful view of their workplace._  
 _As Rey stood with her back to him he could see her bare shoulder, that her black dress was a one-shoulder and without sleeves. As a result the observer could see her slender arms as well as her legs. The black fabric flattered her slim figure._  
  
 _"Solo will never win this case." he heard the spiteful tone of Poe Dameron. Frowling, he rose and moved through the open doorway towards the two of them._  
 _"How do you know that?" she replied to him when he arrived at your house._  
 _"Dameron, is there a problem?"_  
 _The dark-haired man with the curly hair nodded and handed him a document._  
 _"What is it?" he asked him, while the brunette looked at him furiously._  
 _"You'd better ask your watchdog," he said, giving Rey a last warning glance before he turned away and left the two of them alone._  
  
 _"Kenobi, in my office immediately," he muttered while reading the first page._  
 _The brunette reached for her phone and set up a detour before following the dark-haired man into his office, who locked the door behind her._  
  
 _"What's that?" he asked, while he sat down behind his desk on his comfortable leather chair._  
 _"A document that Dameron found God knows where from," she replied, looking at him as she did so._  
 _"Do you know where he got it?"_  
 _"No, I have no idea," she replied curtly._  
 _"Why don't you know such a thing? It's your job to know such a thing and to bring it to me."_  
 _"I know, Ben. I've done all my homework, too."_  
 _"Apparently not. I asked you specifically at the time if there was a reference to me in the documents." he replied in an angry voice._  
 _"I know that," she replied and looked at him again, whereupon his angry expression gave way to sheer horror._  
  
 _"Jesus Ben, what was I supposed to do? How was I to know he'd dig it up again somewhere?" she tried to defend herself._  
 _"You should have come to me with it," he replied in a grim voice, rose and approached her._  
 _"You know that I must report your behaviour if I resign the mandate."_  
 _"I wanted something good for you and this is how you thank me?" she replied with a shocked expression on her face and voice._  
  
 _The dark-haired man turned away from her and drove nervously through his dark shoulder-length hair._  
 _"You know very well that I wouldn't do it if I didn't have to." he said, turning his back to her._  
 _"I'll take the rap for this. But will you do the same, Ben?" he heard her soft voice. Irritated, he turned to her and watched her two hands resting on her lower abdomen._  
 _"No..." he murmured, slowly realizing what she wanted to tell him with her gesture._  
  
 _He could not understand how all this could happen - why was the world around him about to destroy itself. Quickly he ran after her as she ran towards the toilets. Quickly he had caught up with her and locked the door to the entrance._  
  
 _"Since when do you know?"_  
 _"Only recently."_  
 _"What are you going to do now?"_  
  
 _They were both close, he could really feel the warmth of her body. The passion of that night threatened to catch up with him again._  
  
 _"It's not your responsibility." she spat at him and freed herself from his grip._  
 _"You can't decide this on your own, Rey." he shouted after her when she arrived at the door._  
 _"You broke the rules, now we have to pay the price," she explained to him, looking him in the eyes with a firm look before she turned away, released the lock and left him alone._  
  
"Ben." he heard the voice of the owner of the office, whereupon he looked up and recognized the redhead in the doorway to his old office.   
"What do you want Armitage?" he asked in an annoyed, yet tired voice.   
"You know Snoke could do no other way."   
"Is that so?"   
"He can't keep anybody who can't get the bodies out of his superior's closet."   
"it wasn't their fault," he replied, glancing once more at the empty desk that had once been rey's workplace.   
  
"No, it was yours Solo, and that's why I demoted you." he heard behind him the scratchy voice of Gideon Snoke, the owner of the firm.   
With clenched lips, he watched the older man with the redhead disappear into his former office.  
  
The vibration of his smartphone made him reach for his mobile phone and look at the display.   
  
**"Kid, I know we haven't had contact in years. But it's about your mother, she had an accident. Please call me, Dad."**  
  
"Fuck." he replied with a sigh, dropped the smartphone inside his suit and hurried out of the office. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of the chapter - Creep (Radiohead)


	3. Tightrope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am not a smuggler but I am a mechanic - allow me to introduce myself - Han Solo   
> ...and this is my story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kudos and comments - they means the world to me :) thx

Already as a little girl Leia Organa was in the public eye. She smiled well into the cameras and waved while holding the hand of Gouvenour Bail Organa.   
The Gouvenour was one of the few politicians who was firmly anchored in office independently of the respective president.   
Under the eyes of the population, little Leia grew into a beautiful young woman. Early on her political ambitions showed themselves, which fully unfolded when the Breha, the wife of the governor, died.   
  
In order to secure her father's re-election, the nineteen-year-old Leia once crossed the desert landscapes of Tatooine Valley and met a grim man of almost thirty years.   
How could she have guessed that this grumpy man, who I once was and probably still am, would change her life forever.   
I remember that day as if it had happened only yesterday.   
  
_"Is there a decent mechanic in the house?"_   
  
I heard her distinctive voice for the first time. As I was lying under a car at the time, I didn't think anything special at first.   
  
_"Of course there is, what do you need?" cried young Han Solo as he worked on the oil lines._  
 _"My car will start, I'll go a few miles and then I'll stop again," the female voice answered him._  
 _"What did you do before this started?" he wanted to know, while he laboriously tried to keep the line, which was above his head, tight._  
 _"Why do you want to know, don't you think a woman is capable of driving a car?"_  
  
 _He could hear her clear displeasure in her voice, a grin on his face. But in the next moment, the pipe burst and a flood of oil poured down his face._  
 _"Damn." he spit out annoyed and tried to close the pipe with his hands to prevent further oil leakage._  
 _"Is everything all right?" asked the young unknown woman with audible concern._  
 _"Could you hand me a cloth, please?" he asked her moaning as the oil began to seep through his finger cracks._  
 _"Well, where can I find one?"_  
 _"Never mind, take anything! But please hurry, I'm drowning in oil!" he exclaimed desperately as the greasy liquid dripped on his face again._  
 _"Here you are." he suddenly heard her voice very close before a red cloth appeared in his field of vision. Almost blindly, he reached for the velvet object, feeling soft skin under his rough fingers._  
  
 _"Excuse me." he muttered before he reached for the cloth and stuffed it into the resulting hole._  
 _"Is there anything else I can do for you?" she asked, while he watched with concern as the cloth slowly but surely soaked with oil._  
 _"Yes, indeed, you could," he said after he received another cloth from her and wiped the oil off his face._  
 _"Look for a bucket, I must drain the oil, for the pipe is definitely broken," he added, looking to the side where he saw a pair of slender legs. They were dressed in dark jeans and old sports shoes. Quickly the legs were running around, looking for the bucket._  
  
 _"I've got one!" she exclaimed, as at the same moment his face reacquainted with the first drop of oil._  
 _"Give it to him quickly," he instructed her, before crawling forward and reaching out his hand._  
 _As soon as he had the object in his hand, he pulled it towards him and exchanged his head with the bucket._  
 _"All right, that should be enough for now," he said after he had pushed his slender body, dressed in a dark blue overalls smeared with oil, out from under the car._  
 _"Perhaps you'd like to change?" he heard her ask while wiping his face again. He paused in his movement and looked questioningly to the right, where he saw her face for the first time._  
  
Even after all these years, I still remember very clearly that one particular moment. It was like time stopped. I realize that I am repeating myself but you may forgive me, because this woman - she was unique.   
  
Her brown eyes, this expression in them - a mixture of ambition and passion. Of course I knew her, who was this young woman and the latest political hope of our region.   
But you know what had enchanted me most of all? Her smile, it was simply stunning.   
In her eyes I must have stood before her like a watered poodle, because she laughed softly before she reached for another towel and pressed it into my hand.  
  
 _"I think a bath would do you good,"_ had been her first, direct words to me.   
  
No, wasn't it? Yes, well - you're right, but they were her first words, addressed directly to me, while her wonderful eyes were looking at me.   
Well, big boy, get a grip on yourself, or she'll find another mechanic for her car very quickly. My thoughts must have been something like this, because I still remember how I cleared my throat and said, "What can I do for you now, Miss Organa?"   
  
"So you recognized me," she said and I thought I heard incredulity in her voice.  
"Yes, of course, your face is omnipresent, especially now in this election period."   
"And yet you remain completely calm."   
  
I remember wondering at the time if her sentence was serious. Since I could only explain her statement in one way, I replied amusingly.  
"Of course, what else can I do? Jump up into the air and rejoice that our governor's daughter has entered the sacred halls of my workshop?"   
To my discomfort, I watched her smile disappear and give way to a serious expression.  
"I may not make an impression on you, but I am not stupid. My father does a lot to make people like you better."   
My laughter quickly faded and I nodded with clenched lips.   
  
"I beg your pardon, I did not mean to offend your honourable father. I know more than most of you about his work. Thanks to him I was able to complete my training at the academy and then acquire this workshop here," I explained sincerely and noticed how her resistance slowly diminished.  
  
"So, what can I do for you, Miss Organa?"   
"My car just won't start. I was hoping you might take a look at it."   
  
Nodding I followed the young woman, whose face was known throughout the land, out. How could I have known she would change my life forever? The first clue was that the battery in her car was dead. Since I had no suitable one for her and we were in the middle of the desert, I did the only thing that seemed right at the time.   
  
_"I can take you to the nearest town and from there, you can call your father or whoever's in charge of you."_  
 _Smiling, she held her hand over her mouth as she looked at him._  
 _"Since your garage doesn't have the necessary parts to get my car back on the road, I don't see any other choice."_  
 _"That pretty much sums it up, I'll just get the key," he explained and ran to his office._  
 _"But be warned, mister. If anything happens to me, you won't get far."_  
 _"Oh, Miss Organa, how can I put it so you won't get a serious look on your face again?"_  
 _"Now, don't be a coward."_  
 _Smiling, he reached for the key that was lying next to the door._  
 _"Not a coward, but a realist."_  
 _"Well, and what is this realist's answer?" she wanted to know from him when she followed him to his own car, an old Millennium Falcon._  
 _"Han Solo's life is more important to him than trying to kidnap the Princess of Alderaan City," he said, unlocking the car door and then opening the passenger side for the young woman._  
 _"I'm glad to hear that, I'm Leia, by the way," she replied with a smile before she got in._  
  
Years later, I was once asked if I knew then that she would never get out of the car again. No, I didn't know - but I hoped I did.  
It was not love at first sight, but the fascination was undoubtedly there.   
  
We became friends, she introduced me to her father and told him my story. Bail wasn't particularly thrilled that I was just a mechanic, but at least I was the embodiment of his political success and in the end that was decisive enough to accept me.   
We loved each other, we argued and yet we always found each other again.   
  
Over the years, I learned to deal with being who Bail Organa had chosen me to be. Han Solo, the man at the side of his daughter Leia Organa - the next governor of our country. Did I consider myself good enough for this role? No, but out of love for this gorgeous woman, from the day of our public engagement I threw myself into a suit and never took it off.   
It was not long before we received the greatest gift ever given to us - our only son. The early years with him were wonderful, until that fateful day, his seventh birthday.   
On that day, Bail Organa was assassinated and a short time later Leia was overwhelmingly elected as the new governor. From then on I mostly took care of our son, because Leia was often in her office until late at night.  
  
She was a politician with heart and soul and only then wife and mother. I could live with it. Our son couldn't. At some point he had stopped asking about her, but it was accompanied by beginning ignorance - with the end he wanted to go to a boarding school.   
  
Slowly but steadily we lost our son. As soon as he had celebrated his twenty-first birthday, he left us and we heard nothing from him for over ten years. Until that day when Leia had her accident and I was sitting in the emergency room. My fingers slipped across the display and stopped at his names. Yes, we had promised not to contact him again. But when your own mother was seriously injured fighting for her life next door? If, if not now a father should inform his son about it? Determined, he wrote a single message.  
  
 **"Kid, I know we haven't spoken in years. But it's about your mother, she had an accident. Please call me, Dad."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of the Chapter - Tightrope (The Greatest Showman)


	4. You & Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now is the time for the deceased to tell their story - Ben Kenobi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for you reading and likes of this story - it´s a little project, which I like to write it very much.   
> Comments are always welcome :)

Satine was my only love, our daughter Mia my pride and joy, but Rey embodied my entire joy of life.  
I remember her mother standing outside my door one day. Just twenty-three years old, she held a little girl by the hand. Like her mother, she had brown hair that reached over her shoulders. I had never seen my grandchild before, let alone even known of his existence.   
  
"I have to get out of here!" had been her words shortly after she graduated from high school.   
"But why?" I couldn't understand why she was so desperate to leave us.   
"I want to see the world. I won't be cramped into your corset anymore."   
  
What she called a corset was merely the plan that our daughter should study music at the local university, as her mother had once done, since she was a gifted violinist.  
"We only want what's best for you. You always loved playing the violin. "So what's wrong with studying?" Satine asked, not understanding as I did.   
  
_"Mom, this was your dream, not mine!" she almost spat in her face, the expression angry._  
  
 _"Well, then you'll just study something else. But, child, you must choose something," she appealed to her reason, which until a few months ago was in abundance._  
  
 _"Yes, I'll choose my freedom - the will to do and do what I want."_  
  
"Is that what he's been telling you?" had been my question, while my rage was seething inside me at a certain young man. At that time I thought him the guilty one, who had torn my daughter from our wonderful lives and put these nonsense into her head.   
  
_"He didn't talk me into it, but he showed me that there is another kind of life - a life I can identify with much more than the one you are living here."_  
  
Shocked by her harsh words, Satine turned away crying while I gave our daughter a hard look.   
  
_"That was very thoughtless of you, Mia."_  
  
 _"No, it wasn't, because it's merely the truth."  
_  
"You know we can't support you. I tried to teach her in a gentle voice. I never intended to put my own flesh and blood before such a choice, but considering the situation and her change, I finally had no choice.   
  
_"I'm aware of that, which is why I wanted to tell you that he and I..." She paused, glanced briefly at the ground, took a deep breath before continuing: "...we'll go away together."  
_  
"When will you be back?" I asked her, but her look was the answer.   
"Do I have to tell your mother?"   
She shook her head, walked past me and disappeared into the adjoining kitchen where my Satine had retreated before.  
Under the bitter cries of my wife, our only daughter reached for her traveling bag and left the family home.   
  
I spent the next few years trying to dissuade Satine from her obsession with waiting for Mia to return. Every Christmas, on her birthday, she always set another place setting - in vain.   
As the years went by, watching Satine fall more and more into sadness hurt my heart deeply. I did what I could, but nothing helped.  
  
"I appreciate your efforts Ben, but nothing and no one can replace our Mia," she said when I brought a little puppy, BB, home one day.   
  
Then one morning, almost ten years after Mia disappeared, I woke up and found myself confronted with the lifeless shell of my wife. She was lying perfectly peacefully in her bed, but I could see a single dried tear on her cheek. Even in death she had still lamented the supposed loss of our only daughter.   
  
"Hi, Dad." Her voice tore me from my memories and made me look again at the face I had not seen for over a decade.   
"Mia." I said in a raspy voice before my eyes wandered once more to the little girl who was desperately clutching onto her little teddy bear. Her gaze was directed anxiously at me, her hand clasped her mother's.   
"Dad, may I introduce Rey to you?" she said, got down on her knees and immediately turned to the person she was talking to.   
"Rey, this is your Grandpa Ben."   
  
The little girl hid behind her mother's wide skirt, while I gazed lovingly at the creature. She looked very much like my daughter and yet I also discovered features I didn't recognize, probably from her father.  
  
"May we come in?" she asked me and looked at me pleadingly. Without giving an answer she stepped aside and allowed them both to enter my house. At that time I did not know or perhaps I did and did not want to believe it. But that day was the one day when my daughter returned home to give her only possessions to my estate - Rey.  
  
Was it fate, or just an act of God from above, I don't know. In fact, a few days later, Mia was hit by a car and died from her severe injuries.   
  
Since Rey's father had left the country long before and could therefore not be found, her only remaining relatives were granted custody - me, her grandfather Ben Kenobi.   
In the beginning it was a difficult process to gain the trust of this little girl. For nights on end she cried herself to sleep, missing her mother. Neither Satine nor I had ever redecorated Mia's room, so I let her daughter take those four rooms that once belonged to her mother.   
  
I didn't force myself on her, I left her alone. I only tried to get her out of her room for dinner - in vain. At some point I understood that she was probably under the protection of memories, there were photos of Mia on the walls everywhere, refused to come out. One day, just a week had passed since Mia was buried, I placed a tray with her favourite food - applesauce with cinnamon.   
  
I decided to go down to the living room and wait. As there was complete silence in the house, I could hear the room door opening carefully and the tray being pushed across the floor before the door closed again hesitantly. With a smile I understood that the first step had been taken.   
  
Contrary to my expectations, a little later I heard soft footsteps on the stairs leading up to the first floor of our house. I looked up from my reading, over the edge of my reading glasses and saw her little body huddled in the middle of my living room.   
  
She held her teddy bear firmly pressed against her body, as she had done from the beginning. Knowing that it had to be me who took the next step, I took off my reading glasses and gave her a loving smile.  
  
"What can I do for you, little Rey?"   
She liked it when I called her that - I guess it gave her a sense of security of her own that had been lost with the loss of her mother.   
"The Applesauce." she began hesitantly, in a low voice.   
"Did you like it?" I asked and received a nod.   
"Would you like some more?"   
  
Another nod, made me get up and meant to follow her into the nearby kitchen. There she jumped on the stool and watched curiously as I filled another plate from the pot and pushed it over to her.   
  
"May I have some more cinnamon with it?" she asked shyly before she reached for the spoon I handed her.   
"Of course, my little Rey. As much as you want," I replied and sprinkled the sweet spice on the applesauce.  
"Did you always cook this for my mama?" she asked after a few minutes while I watched her eat in silence.  
"Yes, your mom loved this homemade applesauce, but it was your grandma who taught me this recipe."   
  
"Where is Grandma anyway?"   
"In the same place where your mama is now," I told her in a sad voice.   
"So in heaven, mom once told me that grandma is in heaven, where my daddy is also."   
Surprised by this statement, I was unable to do more than nod in agreement before Rey bent over the applesauce again.   
"But you won't leave me, will you grandpa?" she asked with tears in her eyes.   
"No, little Rey - I'm not going to give you up that easily, let alone leave you alone."   
  
For almost twenty years I was able to keep my promise, until that day when I once again visited my family doctor's office.   
"How long do I have left?" I asked while looking at the examination results.   
"I cannot tell you that. months probably, depending on how much you spare your heart."   
With clenched lips I thought of the young woman who cooked for me every day at home.   
  
"How am I going to tell Rey?"   
"Rey is now a young woman who I hear works in a very successful law firm," the doctor replied with a proud smile.  
"She is very happy there, I even believe she has met someone from her colleagues. She has this special smile on her lips whenever she stands in the kitchen and believes she is unobserved."   
"I'm happy for you, Ben."  
He looked at me wistfully as I waved.   
"It'd be just the right moment if she fell in love - she wouldn't be alone when it...happens."   
  
How could I have known then that as soon as I got home, I would find my beloved Rey's huddled silhouette on the couch.   
"What happened?" I asked sensitively after settling down next to her.   
"I wanted to help my boss so he wouldn't get into trouble." she began, while repeatedly reaching for a handkerchief and wiping away her tears.   
"Didn't you make it?"   
"Yes, but they finally found something they could use against him." she continued.  
"He will understand that you did your best and let it rest. You told me what a good team you both are," I said and managed to get her to nod before she burst into tears. Well, apparently it hadn't gone as smoothly as I thought.  
"I had held this view until now, but now it turns out that he only thinks of one person and that is himself," she brought out between the tears.   
"Did they let you go?"   
Nodding in agreement with his question, she buried her face in her palms.  
"You don't know the best part yet."   
  
With a frown, I looked at her from the side and watched her wait.   
"I'm pregnant by him." she admitted and threw herself into his arms.  
I sighed as I stroked her brown hair, which had nothing left of the original hairstyle she had conjured up this morning.   
  
"Little Rey." I muttered thoughtfully, knowing that I couldn't possibly burden her with my diagnosis now.   
"What am I gonna do now, grandpa? "I'm pregnant and I don't have a job to take care of us." I could hear her clear desperation and decided to make the most of my last months, especially in terms of protecting her granddaughter and the unborn child in her belly - to give them both a good future. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of the chapter - You & Me (TW)


	5. All Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben - the dream team of the law firm or how a lawyer's career threatened to fall apart and the story why his, probably most important, secretary left him.   
> But not only the lawyer lost, also the secretary suffered an immense loss.

With a smile she looked at the ultrasound image in her hands. Like every morning, she was sitting on the bus that took her downtown. Like every morning for nine months, she drove to the big skyscraper. Once there, she greeted the man in the foyer, who nodded to her in a friendly way before she got on the elevator and took her to her workplace.   
At the top she was greeted by her esteemed colleague Rose Tico, who presented her with one of the three paper cups she got every morning before her arrival.   
"Good morning, Rey." "Thank you, Rey." she heard each time at brief intervals before her journey took her to her actual workplace. This was a desk located right next to the spacious office of attorney Ben Solo.   
  
Ben Solo, the terror of the entire staff in the law firm and also nationwide. The dark-haired man was known for never losing a single case. Therefore he was not only a very sought-after party when it came to attracting new clients, but also the envy was accordingly high.   
"Solo, the tactician - Solo, the ruthless one" were just some of the statements she heard in her first days as his secretary.   
  
"You won't last long, nobody ever has before." Hux had mumbled to her when she was first introduced to him.   
"If you don't want it anymore, you're welcome to come to my place and start." had been his offer to her, which she had kindly but firmly declined.   
"I am here to work for Ben Solo."   
  
_"Then I guess you'd better do that, Miss Kenobi, instead of chatting with Mr. Hux." she immediately heard his voice behind her. Her eyes wandered to the redhead who stood up straight as a die, gave her one last nod and retired to his own office._  
  
 _"Mr. Solo, I have only met him. Isn't it customary to introduce yourself to the staff as a new colleague?" she replied to him after Rey turned to him._  
 _"That may be true, but I would still prefer you to move your introduction round to your break," he said with a serious expression before he told her to follow him._  
 _Interested, she noticed that he didn't even turn around to see if she would follow him at all. Sighing she started to move and a little later she found herself in his office._  
 _"Miss Kenobi, as you no doubt have noticed, I did not want a new secretary."_  
  
 _"That must have escaped my notice," she said with a slight grin, which he acknowledged with a frown._  
 _"If you want to work for me, you must be prepared for the following situation." he began, pausing and looking at her face for a few seconds before he rose and circled the desk._  
 _"I'll explain everything exactly once, I won't tolerate any questions," he continued, while moving around the office. He didn't notice that she was reaching for the notepad that was on the desk in front of her._  
  
 _"In the morning, I want my coffee in a single, specific way. Any other way is out of the question."_  
 _"I have been known to be the last person to leave this office. In other words, if you expect to be able to go home at 4:00 p.m., I'll be happy to refer you to Hux - he'll have some use for you then."_  
 _"That will not be a problem for me." he heard her voice for the first time since he began his recital._  
 _He then paused and looked at her, acknowledging that she had written everything down on the notepad, as he had left it in front of the chair just before._  
 _"Anything else?"_  
 _"So it doesn't bother you that on a Friday night you could probably still be in the office at ten o'clock at night?"_  
 _With a smile, she shook her head without looking up._  
 _"Boyfriend? Husband?"_  
 _"If you paid any attention to my resume, you'd know I'm not married. Anything else is irrelevant to you as my boss," she explained, then looked up at him._  
 _"Good, then get out of here and start doing what you were hired for," he replied and returned to his chair, while Rey simultaneously stood up and went to the door which, like the rest of the wall, was made entirely of glass._  
 _"One last question," she asked, standing in the open doorway._  
 _"Yes?" He looked at her with a challenging look in his eyes._  
 _"How shall I address you in the future?"_  
 _"Ben, when we're alone - when clients are in the room, we stick to last names."_  
 _"I see, I'm Rey._  
  
 _Nodding, he turned to the laptop in front of him and gave her no more attention during the day - only numerous e-mails she received from him._  
 _Contrary to expectations, Ben Solo turned out to be much less complicated than the other colleagues initially wanted her to believe._  
 _Yes, the lawyer was often moody and difficult to handle, but as long as she did everything to his satisfaction and order, she had no problems with him._  
  
 _One evening, however, this began to change._  
 _Rey was just about to button up the buttons of her winter coat when she noticed from the corner of her eye how the dark-haired man angrily threw the telephone receiver onto the desk. Slowly she pulled her brunette hair out of the inside of the coat as she opened the door and knocked on it._  
 _The dark-haired man looked at her with widened eyes, she could read clear anger in it. "What happened?" she wanted to know, while her counterpart looked through his office with an angry expression on his face to get back to her._  
 _"I have a problem, Kenobi."_  
 _"Oh, have we reached Kenobi again?" she asked with an audible grin in her voice._  
 _"I'm not exactly laughing, Rey," he said on record and let his head sink. Irritated by his statement, she stepped inside the spacious room and closed the door behind her._  
  
 _"What's wrong?" Her voice was soft but at the same time full of seriousness. The previous amusement had completely disappeared. Why? Quite simply, she had never before experienced Ben Solo admitting an obvious weakness._  
 _Silently, he pointed to the chair she had sat on countless times before._  
 _"I hope you have no more plans for tonight."_  
 _"No, my grandfather is used to me coming home late."_  
 _Irritated, he paused in his movement and looked at her questioningly._  
 _"What do you mean?"_  
 _"I live with my grandfather."_  
 _"Why?"_  
 _"Are we here to discuss my personal life or your problem that made you smash another phone receiver I can well imagine Gwen's reaction when I tell her on Monday."_  
 _Annoyed, he shook his head, reached for a file and handed it to her._  
 _"The Palpatine file, yes, I heard that Mr. Snoke wanted this case for the firm by all means," she said and opened the first page while Solo laughed softly._  
 _"Yes, that doesn't surprise me."_  
  
 _Frowning, she looked up from the file, straight at him, and he replied, "Turn to page 25."_  
 _Following his instruction, she picked out the appropriate page and began to read it. "Oh, boy." she murmured, put the file aside and unbuttoned her winter coat._  
 _"I see that it was wise not to lose you to Hux."_  
 _"I'd much rather work for you anyway - with him I'd just have to type without thinking much about it. Besides, he's always looking at my bottom - it's annoying," she replied, with a little sideways glance in his direction, put her winter coat on the couch behind her, before she returned to the act in front of her._

  
 _"If I am informed correctly, you were once Kylo Ren."_  
 _"That is correct."_  
 _"Well, you're involved in the case - it can happen. What exactly is the problem now?"_  
 _"That as a youth I worked at Palpatine, covertly, so to speak, to bring his empire down."_  
 _Nodding, she kept flipping through the pages until she stopped at a certain page and slowly looked over at the dark-haired man._  
 _"Ben..." she began hesitantly, whereupon the dark-haired man nodded with clenched lips._  
 _"If Snoke finds out, let alone the prosecution._  
 _"Snoke knows, and wants me to take over the case anyway."_  
 _She shook her head in consternation while she couldn't take her eyes off said document._  
 _"He threatens to publish everything."_  
 _"It would be your downfall as a lawyer, let alone the possible lawsuits of the other side."_  
 _"You mean, could the firm actually bring charges against me?"_  
 _"The company itself less so, I'm thinking more of Luke Skywalker, after all he was the only son of Palpatine's henchman, Vader," she replied, tearing the page out of the act._  
  
 _"Rey, what are you doing?" he wanted to know from her with an astonished look as she stood up and walked to the door._  
 _"save your skin, ben solo," she replied, opening the door and running forward. Quickly the lawyer rose, grabbed the file and followed the young brunette to the back, into the archive area._  
 _"What are you doing there?" he exclaimed in shock as he watched Rey run through the screamer and destroy the said document._  
 _"Help you, Ben."_  
 _"no one has ever done that for me without thinking of the possible consequences," he realized as his eyes lingered on the screamer._  
 _"I can imagine, but perhaps that could change now." she said gently, before disappearing into the back of the archive. With one last look at the shredder, he stepped back and closed the entrance to the archive. Then he followed the brunette secretary to the back._  
 _"What are we doing back here?" he wanted to know when he spotted her on the ladder while her head disappeared in one of the boxes._  
 _"To be your friend," she replied as she descended the ladder with a piece of paper in her hand. Not averting his eyes from her, he reached for the document and finally took a look._  
 _"You are incredible, Rey," he said, grabbed her arm and pressed his lips to yours._  
 _Since that evening, the two were connected, but they left it at that one time._  
 _"It was very nice, but you know I'm not the type for a long-term commitment."_  
 _"I'm not looking, Ben. I'm also committed to my grandfather."_  
 _"I know."_  
 _"I'll never forget this, Rey." had been his last words when he left them alone in the archives, with the said paper in his hands._  
  
She had always known it was dangerous to love Ben Solo. But since that night in the archive she could no longer deny her feelings for him. For her it was not only a fleeting one-night-stand, for Rey Kenobi it had been much more.   
But neither he nor she could have guessed that a new life would arise from this single encounter in the back of the archive.   
With a first picture of this life she had entered the office that day, not knowing that this day would be the last one at Ben Solo's side.  
All his reproaches, his angry look, and then this hopelessness that spread to her deepest innermost being when she saw his stunned look across from her.   
  
_"You know I have to report this..." she heard him speak, knowing what the inevitable professional consequences of this meant for her._  
 _At that moment Rey Kenobi made a decision and it would affect the lawyer Ben Solo, let alone the person behind it._  
 _"What are you going to do now?"_  
 _"It's not your decision anymore."_  
 _"You cannot decide that alone, Rey!" he called after her, before she turned around again and answered him with hardness: "You have broken the rules, now we have to pay the price for it, too."_

But when Rey thought that this was already supposed to be the worst day of her life so far, even though it had started so well, the young woman was terribly mistaken.  
  
 _"Your grandfather had a massive heart attack." she heard the supposed words of the doctor six months later._  
 _"Why, but how can this be?" she stammered, unable to grasp the implications of his explanation. The man in white, Cassian Andor was his name, led her to a seat and lowered himself into the chair beside her._  
 _"Her grandfather has known for over four months that he has a serious heart condition. Has he never told you anything about it?"_  
 _Sobbing, she denied, shaking her head, her head down - close to despair._  
 _"How long does he have?" she hardly dared ask the most distressing question she had ever had to ask._  
 _"A few months, if ever."_  
 _"Oh, God." she said, drowning in tears, and bursting into tears again._  
 _"Please, Miss Kenobi, you should not become agitated in her condition if at all possible."_  
 _"I know all stress is bad for the baby," she replied with a slight smile, Doctor Andor._  
 _"Do you know what..."_  
 _"It's a girl," she replied, earning a sincere smile from the man next to her._  
 _"That's wonderful, if you'd like I can refer you to my wife - she's a gynaecologist," he said, handing her a small business card before his pager beeped, tearing him away from the conversation._  
 _"Thank you," she replied and let the small card disappear into her jacket pocket before returning to the nearby hospital room._  
 _"What am I going to do without you? How am I going to get by after this?"_  
 _"Little Rey, don't worry about after that."_  
 _"But Grandpa..."_  
 _"What matters is now and what you make of it."_  
 _She had looked at him sadly and was faced with his perfect, unique love._  
 _"How can you be so confident? You're all I have left - everything I have."_  
 _"That's not true, a new life is growing inside of you. A little girl who will need all the love you can give her." the old man replied in a weak voice, pointing to the bulging belly of his granddaughter._  
 _"Yes, mainly because her father doesn't care about her."_  
 _"I'm sure your paths will cross again some day."_  
 _"You think so?" she asked, doubting it._  
 _"Little Rey, you always meet twice in life - remember - always twice." were his last words before he closed his eyes forever._  
 _Crying, she looked at his hand that lay gently in hers. Then her eyes wandered to the carnations he had planted in his garden himself.  
_  
With those very carnations she stood a few days later in front of her grandfather's open grave. Her lost gaze was directed towards the mahogany coffin, which had been lowered into the depths beforehand.  
  
"I will continue and try to make the best of it," she murmured with tears in her eyes before she threw carnation in her hand into the open pit and walked towards the colony of wagons, which slowly but surely disintegrated, leaving only a single black wagon behind.   
  
As she walked toward it, she did not notice how a dark-haired man had stood behind a nearby tree and silently attended the funeral. Hiding his dark eyes behind sunglasses, he watched with clenched lips as the heavily pregnant Rey got behind the wheel and left the place.   
  
Slowly his feet led him to the open grave where he looked at the individual wreaths and stopped and read at the one of Rey:   
_"The plant may die, but the seed that remains will bring him new life the following year."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of the chapter: All Alone (Hogland)


	6. No One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grief has often brought people together. Sometimes it also forces us to think about certain things in life.

How often do you think the name Solo is used in this world? Was she haunted by these last names? Were there such coincidences? Maybe..   
All these questions had been on Rey's mind since she met Han Solo at the cemetery. Leia Organa had been his wife, she had read the name on the gravestone in front of which the older man was mourning on his knees.   
  
"Kenobi, I've heard that name somewhere before," Han Solo muttered after the young woman introduced herself.   
"Really?" she asked visibly surprised by his statement, but the grey-haired man nodded affirmatively.   
"Only I can't remember the exact context. Well, please forgive me - since she has been gone," he pondered, looking wistfully at the gravestone that had its place a few meters away from them.   
  
"It's all right," she said in a gentle voice, while her eyes glided again to the gravestone.   
"You must have loved each other very much."   
"You have no idea how much I loved that woman."   
"It must have been a wonderful marriage."   
  
She was surprised to see him laugh and shake his head.   
"No, she wasn't at all - I think there were times she wanted to get rid of me for sure."   
"Had you been such a bad finger?"   
  
The man looked up from his late wife's gravestone, straight at her before he nodded.   
"I didn't think much of it then, but I'm more aware of it now - more than ever."   
"I think she knew that you loved her."  
  
Han looked at the young woman from the side before his eyes moved to her stomach. Frowning, he remembered a certain time in the life of his Leia and opened his mouth a little bit, knowing that he had loved her.  
"When was it born?"   
  
Surprised by his question, she turned to the older man beside her.   
"How do you know that I..."   
"...my Leia looked the same the first few weeks after our son was born." he explained with a smile.  
"She is three weeks old."   
"A girl?" he asked, smiling as she nodded.   
"Leia and I have always hoped for a little sister for our son - unfortunately in vain."   
  
"I'm very sorry for both of you." she replied with feeling, frowning at the bouquet of flowers before the gravestone.   
"Forget-me-me-nots." she recognized in astonishment, while the man next to her nodded to the flower arrangement.   
"They were my wife's favorite flowers. Our son had this bouquet made, and he made the violets too."   
  
"That's a very nice gesture on his part. He must miss his mother as much as you do," Rey said, watching him shrug his shoulders slightly.   
"Losing a mother is never easy," she quietly added.   
  
Thoughtfully, Han looked at the young woman from the side again, could clearly see the pain in her face.   
"Where is your daughter now?"   
"Hope is with a very good friend."   
"Then I do not wish to keep you from returning to your girl."   
  
Rey gave him such a loving, sincere smile that the older man hadn't seen him in a very long time.   
"I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I would really like to get to know you better. You know, when my son doesn't come to visit, I get very lonely." he admitted, glancing once more at the gravestone of his Leia.   
  
"I would be very happy to do so, Mr Solo."   
"Please call me Han," he replied, nodding before she replied, "I am Rey."   
"May I ask you a question, Han?" Frowning, he nodded affirmatively.   
  
"Would you be less alone if you did not know your son existed? Or how would you cope if you didn't know about him until years after his birth?"   
  
The man stared at the young woman in front of him for a few moments before he used his index finger to remove a missing eyelash from his eye.   
"If I knew nothing of his existence, I couldn't miss him - yet I believe I would feel deep inside that there is something I know nothing about."   
  
"If you were angry with Leia, would you have rejected him?"   
  
"No, never - my Leia would have had very good reasons for this and God knows I gave her enough such reasons during our marriage. My behaviour towards our only son is a good example of this. " he added with a quiet smile at first, before he became audibly sad towards the end.   
  
"I must go now, I'm afraid." he realized after looking at his wristwatch. "Here is my address. I would be very happy for Hope and you to visit." he added, handing over his business card.   
  
Thoughtfully, Rey watched as the man with gray hair and a three-day beard of the same color turned away from her and slowly left the row of graves. Only a few months ago she had imagined a common future with Ben, for the first time she could imagine growing old together with someone.   
  
_"You should talk to him about your feelings."_  
_"I can't, Grandpa."_  
_"Why?"_  
_"He wouldn't want me to."_  
_"I don't think so, he's counting on you and if he doesn't see that..."_  
_"Grandpa..."_  
_"He'll come back - I know he will."_  
  
She reached for her smartphone in her coat pocket and looked at the first picture of her little daughter.   
  
_"You have to tell him about the baby."_  
_"I can't."_  
_"Why not?"_  
_"We would just be a burden to him."_  
_"You can't know that."_  
_"No, Grandpa._  
_"I won't be here very soon."_  
_"I don't need anyone. We'll be fine on our own."_  
_"Then promise me you'll at least turn to Maz if you need help."_  
_"I promise."_  
_"Think about it, Rey."_  
_"Why would I do that?"_  
_"Imagine if you had had the chance to be loved by your dad, could you have truly forgiven your mom?"_  
  
Sighing, her eyes wandered from the picture of her baby to the tombstone, where Leia's name was written in capital letters before she decided to dial a phone number.   
"Maz, when I get back, I'm gonna need your help." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of the chapter - No One (Alicia Keys)


End file.
